If the news was written like a magazine for teen girls

OMG. Like, duh.

The last five things you Googled

World cheese awards and jingling all the way to hell: sounds pretty average to me.

Top 5 Dream Interpretations

Remember that time you dreamed about partying in hell? Well, maybe it meant something more.

BRB. Writing.

I’m doing NaNoWriMo–am I crazy?

Your Horrorscope for October

Let me tell you your future. (Hint: it’s full of cookies)

The human body is gross

…to everyone but us.

The origins of your favorite superstitions

My theories, and the ‘actual’ origins.

How to make a pumpkin pie that pumpkin-haters will eat

They said they’d never eat it. They were wrong.

The problem(s) with dressing up your pets

They’re dogs. They don’t need clothes. Stupid humans.

Why women still remember that thing you said two years ago

I REMEMBER EVERYTHING YOU SAY