The horrible search terms people used to find this blog
Dear bloggers: Do you ever find yourself looking at your stats page to see how people are finding your site on search engines? Well, I seem to get preoccupied with this. Most people find this blog by searching for ‘maraschino cherries‘ and ‘weird calendars‘…but sometimes I’ll be privy to some more questionable search terms. Allow me to give you some (sometimes unsettling) examples:
- ‘how to kill my sister’s boyfriend’ – Uh, do I call the cops? This actually gave me the heebie jeebies.
- ‘teen girls asses’ – Great; now that I’ve posted this here, more people searching for pr0n are going to come to my blog. But the more the merrier, right? I’ll be like ‘that guy’ who will post a Youtube video with a picture of boobs so that you’ll click on it, but the video has nothing to do with boob content at all. A sham.
- ‘teen boy webcam’ – As long as I don’t get in trouble for posting this here, I’m leaving this up, because really–what do I have on here that would come up for this search? There is only one type of person who would ever look this up, and here he is.
- ‘unlucky crack’ – I know, they’re referring to my superstitions post, but come on–I know I’m not the only one who was thinking of leprechaun-cursed drugs.
- ‘where the poop comes from human body’ – I have an inkling that it’s the butthole.
- ‘ugly ass animals’ – There is nothing finer than extraordinary chickens!
- ‘dog gets eaten’ – Surely they must have been looking for ‘hot dog gets eaten’…
- ‘person eating a dead dog in taco’ – …nope. Here you go. Just in case they weren’t clear the first time.
- ‘can you wax with duct tape’ – Can you? Probably. Should you? Ouch–no!
- ‘meat clown terror’ – As in, a terrifying clown made of meat.
I plan to continuously update this post as this seems to happen more regularly than I’d like. I can’t wait–can you?
Do you get people searching weird terms to find your blog? Share your best/worst examples!