Top 5 Dream Interpretations

Remember when I interpreted the origins of superstitions for you? Well, have you ever wondered why you dream what you do? Like that one time you dreamed you were in hell, covered in severed heads, partying with Satan, and you found out your friend had the exact same dream? No? That was just me? Here are my interpretations of some common dreams (followed by ‘expert’ interpretations just for good measure):

This is what all of my dreams look like.

This is what all of my dreams look like.

1. Falling

My interpretation: You are on your way to hell. You probably laughed at a crying child or a three-legged dog and now you’re going to hell. This is why you’re falling. There is no end to it–you’ll never hit the floor–because there isn’t any. You’re screaming the long way down. Forever. You know how people say that if you hit the ground and/or die in your dream, you die in real life? Well, you can’t die in this dream. Because you’re ALREADY DEAD.

Expert’s interpretation: The dreamer is feeling a loss of control or a fear of failure, and that they are anxious about instabilities in their waking life.

2. Teeth falling out

My interpretation: The teeth symbolize nothing. They’re your real teeth. You have been neglecting your favorite professional–the dentist–and you’ve been thinking for years that “just because they’re only kind of off-white, they could look a whole lot worse.” Wrong. Your teeth are literally falling out while you sleep and if you are lucky enough to not choke and die on them while in dreamland you should be prepared to wake up with a mouth that’s going to take you straight to Crunchytown.

Expert’s interpretation: Some believe that loss of teeth represents insecurity with one’s outward appearance (attractiveness, aging, etc.). Others suggest that it represents a general feeling of loss.

3. Being chased

My interpretation: You’ve done something really bad, and now you’re paying for it. You’re running away from your problems! Maybe you’ll trip, or fall in a hole, or maybe you’ll win a race, but either way, you’ve got a murderous incarnation of your angry cousin or friend or boss or teacher breathing down your neck right behind you. The sweat on your neck is evaporating because their breath is literally that close. Wake up and apologize. Now.

Expert’s interpretation: You’re feeling anxious and are trying to run away from something. You should man/woman up and face your fears. Hey, I wasn’t that far off!

weird-coffee-shop-dream4. Being naked in front of a group of people

My interpretation: You are regretting not getting into porn back when you hit 18. It’s never too late to start. Consider this dream a sign that you should get naked for a living.

Expert’s interpretation: You fear being ‘uncovered’ or being found out. You’re feeling defenseless or exposed. Are you hiding something?

5. Flying

My interpretation: If it isn’t because you “used to want to be an airplane when you grew up” (like some of us), then the only possible explanation for this is that you did a lot of drugs before bed and you’re still ‘high’. It may be cool to fly in your dream, but then you realize that you have nothing propelling you forward other than pure adrenaline and maybe one of those little battery-powered water fans. You realize that flapping your arms does nothing, and you’re out of control. You start to speed towards the ground. This water fan–she does nothing! Next time say no to drugs and you won’t have to worry about crash landing.

Expert’s interpretation: You’ve either risen above something and are feeling a sense of freedom (a good flying dream) or you are afraid to take on a challenge and aren’t feeling enough freedom (a bad flying dream). It all depends on how you feel while in the dream.

Have you had a crazy dream? Have you experienced any of these? Did it all work out in the end?