Why women still remember that thing you said two years ago

Men always seem to joke with each other about the idea that women remember things. Little things–annoyances, pet peeves, spats, that time you forgot to unload the dishwasher before her parents came over. And big things–infidelity, forgetting to feed the dog during her two-week vacation, etc. There always seems to be a mystery surrounding this concept that women can remember things that happened eons ago, when men have supposedly ‘put it all behind’ them.

For example:

She: But I think a picnic would be really nice. It’s a beautiful day!

He: Nah, I’m not really into picnics. I don’t like that whole portable food thing.

She: You said you liked picnics!

He: No, I didn’t. When did I say that?

She: Last year, when we had a picnic with your sister. You said “I’m so glad I’m at this picnic right now.”

He: What?

She: Yeah! You were telling us the story about how you and your ex girlfriend used to always go on picnics and you thought they were awesome and I don’t even know why you were talking about your ex but it really gets my goat…come to think of it, do you still talk to her? Huh?

He: That’s why I was glad to be at a picnic with you and my sister. Because my ex was guano crazy and I’d rather have a picnic with anyone but her. How do you even remember this conversatio–


So I’m exaggerating. But I consider it our eighth sense anyway (after the sixth, ESP, and the seventh, girls-that-like-our-boyfriends). Now, I don’t want to stereotype all women (I am one), but here’s my actual theory. Let me put my psychologist glasses on.

There. Much better. It’s time to get serious for a minute.

My theory is that women can link conversations and events to emotions. Whatever we’re feeling when the statement comes out or when the incident occurs is forever tied to it, and is then filed and stored away in our backcatalog of archives. It’s like each event is a patchwork quilt, with all those good or bad feelings sewn in. Then, one day in the future when we feel similar emotions brewing, there’s a mental awakening. Pull out the files! Where’s that quilt? Ring the bells! There it is! Remember that time…

So. It’s not true that all women have a memory like a grease trap, nor is it true that all men have a memory like a sink drain. But I’ve seen both, and when put together, they can be a dangerous combination. Pass the Ben & Jerry’s, please!

call a girl beautiful fat